A primary reason for competing is to succeed at one’s goals. So why would people from sport psychologists to champions promote the idea that failure is important, even necessary? Before we get started, note that I will be using the word “failure” a lot in this article; rather than coming up with a nicer, softer term, it’s important to acknowledge that failure is not a word – or a concept – to be avoided or ignored, but to be accepted as a normal part of life.
Humans fail from the moment we are born; we are constantly trying new things, and unless they are supported by our environment, we give them up and try something else. We pick things up and drop them; our first attempts at walking are marked by many falls; we try to speak to our parents but the words come out wrong; yet without these failures, we would never learn the right way to do these essential skills. This form of learning stops being cute (and starts being stressful) as we get older – but why is that? My first memory involving failure is trying to ride my bike without training wheels. All of a sudden, I was aware that there would be a negative consequence if I didn’t ride the bike correctly – I could fall and scrape my knee, and that would hurt. Despite my parents’ assurance that everything would be ok, I was terrified for that moment my dad would let go of the bike and I’d have to balance on my own. It turns out everything went well, and my first memory involving failure didn’t involve failure itself – it was my fear of failure that is so memorable. The point of this story is this: falling when learning to walk may result in an injury, but as babies we’re unaware of this; as soon as we are aware of the concept of positive and consequences, we start building our own view of what success and failure mean, and how we feel about them.
Fear of failure, not failure itself, is one of the most common obstacles to success. People who are afraid to fail often don’t take chances to succeed, or when they do, they are unable to perform well because of preoccupation with this fear; those who accept failure as part of life will probably fail many times – but this means they have more chances to succeed, and in doing so, they are practicing countless physical and psychological skills which will help them do so.
One great example is a study which examined coaching children learning how to triple-jump. One group was taught only the correct way to triple-jump; the second group was first taught how not to triple-jump, then for the remaining half they were taught how to do so correctly. Can you guess which group improved most on their pre-training distances? You got it – group number two! By learning how not to do something, we cut off those pathways in our brains. Not only does this decrease our likelihood of repeating those actions, it directs us towards paths headed in the right direction.
So what should we do with all of these failures, from small to big, that we will experience in both life and sport? We make them good failures – meaning we take something positive from them. Good failures can build motivation, help us learn, and may provide clarity, perspective, and meaning. So how do you apply this to competition? First, understand that both success and failure are likely outcomes, and that you can’t succeed unless you risk failure. When you do fail, don’t overthink, criticise yourself, or indulge in self-pity. Instead, consider the following:
- What went well?
- What was out of your control vs in your control? (see my bog on controlling the controllables)
- What could you have done differently?
- What can you learn and practice?
- What can you do better next time?
These questions will help you assess and reassess, set new goals, and attribute what went wrong to realistic factors. Remember, learning from failure is a skill developed over time – and learning the right coping skills to deal with failure takes time too. This reminds me of an old Nike commercial which featured Michael Jordan detailing his many failures; it’s encouraging to see, since when thinking of Michael Jordan the first thing that comes to mind is his overall success rather than his many failures. Take a look – maybe it will inspire you to take your next chance to fail!
References:
Howells, K., Sarkar, M., & Fletcher, D. (2017). Can athletes benefit from difficulty? A systematic review of growth following adversity in competitive sport. Progress in Brain Research, 234, 117-159.
Newman, J. (2019). Failure is the breakfast of champions. https://www.prettypeachymedia.com/post/failure-is-the-breakfast-of-champions?fbclid=IwAR1hN5BIxV5lerh7lCKWiKaQgj8f2703dNxl76BAPhPp2C9p-smdUssPXG4.
Sarkar, M., Fletcher, D., & Brown, D. J. (2015). What doesn’t kill me…:Adversity-related experiences are vital in the development of superior Olympic performance. Journal of Science and Medicine in Sport, 18(4), 475-479.
Tamminen, K. A., Holt, N. L., & Neely, K. C. (2013). Exploring adversity and the potential for growth among elite female athletes. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 14(1), 28-36.
Taylor, J. (2016). Five Mental Obstacles that Prevent Sport Success. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-power-prime/201604/five-mental-obstacles-prevent-sport-success.
Recent Comments